I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
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