Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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