Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I want her autograph on my taint
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
