Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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