no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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