His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
