I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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