i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize