sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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