I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
