All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
