Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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