Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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