do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
