Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
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