Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize