ADVERTISEMENT

• (954): View more from Florida

  Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?

  (787): View more from Puerto Rico

  No, it just says ur easy

  Fav 22 1301 1933

  share tweet
  

• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.

  Fav 5 1048 3969

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (386): View more from Florida

  totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.

  Fav 43 3141 1283

  share tweet
  

• (647): View more from Ontario

  47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.

  (1-647): View more from Ontario

  Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?

  Fav 57 1479 5980

  share tweet
  
• 

  Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (562): View more from California

  just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.

  Fav 28 5489 1761

  share tweet
  

• (314): View more from Missouri

  chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.

  Fav 6 4277 1408

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (518): View more from New York

  Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.

  Fav 8 4191 1148

  share tweet
  

• (309): View more from Illinois

  I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.

  Fav 8 3881 1089

  share tweet
  

• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.

  Fav 39 3226 5475

  share tweet
  
• 

  19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (218): View more from Minnesota

  I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them

  Fav 4 2486 1142

  share tweet
  

• (705): View more from Ontario

  Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.

  Fav 2 2487 1066

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (262): View more from Wisconsin

  By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...

  Fav 5 1811 964

  share tweet
  

• (269): View more from Michigan

  Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry

  (1-269): View more from Michigan

  im coming over

  Fav 4 1579 798

  share tweet
  

• (774): View more from Massachusetts

  Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?

  Fav 7 1580 631

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (818): View more from California

  You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.

  Fav 3 742 469

  share tweet
  

Randomize