Texts From Last Night

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  (206): View more from Washington

  would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?

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  (206): would you consider dating someone with braces an investment? http://tfl.nu/nnkb
  Replies (12) Good night (708) Bad night (993)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  someone owes me an orgasm

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  (406): someone owes me an orgasm http://tfl.nu/u7wj
  Replies (17) Good night (1531) Bad night (3293)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?

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  (317): Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader? http://tfl.nu/orgq
  Replies (31) Good night (8037) Bad night (1894)
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  (585): View more from New York

  If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays

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  (585): If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays http://tfl.nu/yd37
  Replies (10) Good night (3906) Bad night (1101)
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick

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  (501): Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick http://tfl.nu/wixt
  Replies (27) Good night (4502) Bad night (996)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  My ATM looks so different sober.

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  (614): My ATM looks so different sober. http://tfl.nu/aska
  Replies (7) Good night (2298) Bad night (805)
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  (928): View more from Arizona

  His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.

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  (928): His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart. http://tfl.nu/4aul
  Replies (7) Good night (606) Bad night (2456)
• Favorite

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  where's the fun in that?

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  (715): somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion. (920): where's the fun in that? http://tfl.nu/xkei
  Replies (1) Good night (1171) Bad night (625)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?

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  (801): When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married? http://tfl.nu/a2v4
  Replies (10) Good night (3553) Bad night (643)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.

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  (678): I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding. http://tfl.nu/gais
  Replies (6) Good night (1618) Bad night (500)
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  (204): View more from Manitoba

  You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background

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  (204): You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background http://tfl.nu/bshd
  Replies (1) Good night (511) Bad night (293)
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.

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  (256): No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you. http://tfl.nu/nxd6
  Replies (3) Good night (813) Bad night (216)
• Favorite

  (713): View more from Texas

  It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....

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  (713): It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking.... http://tfl.nu/vznz
  Replies (1) Good night (619) Bad night (221)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.

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  (+44): American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help. http://tfl.nu/w0ih
  Replies (1) Good night (305) Bad night (519)
• Favorite

  (469): View more from Texas

  I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.

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  (469): I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some. http://tfl.nu/ar3h
  Replies (1) Good night (466) Bad night (310)

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