By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
