Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(314): View more from Missouri

Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...

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(419): View more from Ohio

His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.

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(614): View more from Ohio

So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.

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(651): View more from Minnesota

I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.

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If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
Read it at the TFLN blog
(785): View more from Kansas

I booty called her while she was in labor.

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(307): View more from Wyoming

they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel

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(407): View more from Florida

And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."

(407): View more from Florida

That's called being sensitive.

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(207): View more from Maine

I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.

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(612): View more from Minnesota

Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.

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