But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams