i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Randomize
