I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
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