Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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