He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
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