Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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