I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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