who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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