guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
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