i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize