He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize