you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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