Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Randomize
