capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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