is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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