my phone cant type all the emotion im having
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
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