He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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