I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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