i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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