Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
