Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
