i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
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