Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Randomize
