it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Randomize
