I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
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