I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
you traded sex for a burrito?
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Randomize
