A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.