Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Can I color on your dick again?
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.