Texts From Last Night

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  (210): View more from Texas

  Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?

  (1-210): View more from Texas

  I'll teach you how to wipe better

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  (210): Dude why does my asshole itch so bad? (1-210): I'll teach you how to wipe better http://tfl.nu/7pt4
  Replies (11) Good night (632) Bad night (2633)
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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut

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  (507): there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut http://tfl.nu/7k06
  Replies (40) Good night (5921) Bad night (1062)
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"

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  (707): I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!" http://tfl.nu/i1ig
  Replies (16) Good night (1353) Bad night (4442)
• Favorite

  (931): View more from Tennessee

  On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!

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  (931): On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse! http://tfl.nu/2usg
  Replies (2) Good night (2135) Bad night (956)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.

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  (716): You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough. http://tfl.nu/zxfj
  Replies (8) Good night (953) Bad night (2729)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.

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  (585): Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you. http://tfl.nu/iycg
  Replies (12) Good night (2649) Bad night (2070)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.

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  (617): my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store. http://tfl.nu/jy53
  Replies (3) Good night (1254) Bad night (716)
• Favorite

  (307): View more from Wyoming

  She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.

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  (307): She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche. http://tfl.nu/hl4o
  Replies (7) Good night (796) Bad night (1888)
• Favorite

  (669): View more from California

  And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach

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  (669): And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach http://tfl.nu/x5nk
  Replies (8) Good night (999) Bad night (508)
• Favorite

  (573): View more from Missouri

  Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?

  (816): View more from Missouri

  Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.

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  (573): Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls? (816): Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do. http://tfl.nu/ewbx
  Replies (2) Good night (1285) Bad night (430)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.

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  (978): damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder. http://tfl.nu/kxku
  Replies (2) Good night (307) Bad night (579)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?

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  (248): Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid? http://tfl.nu/bnow
  Replies (0) Good night (605) Bad night (501)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.

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  (330): If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest. http://tfl.nu/8ghs
  Replies (2) Good night (827) Bad night (310)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.

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  (773): And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything. http://tfl.nu/s3ep
  Replies (1) Good night (490) Bad night (300)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  I could fuck to npr.

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  (804): I could fuck to npr. http://tfl.nu/mjwh
  Replies (2) Good night (409) Bad night (290)

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