Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
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