So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
NoShamevember. You game?
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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