I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
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