pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
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She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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