You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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