Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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