they need to just BURY HIM!
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
