Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
