i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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