R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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