It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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