there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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