Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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