My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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