Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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