I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
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